Let me Splain.... No Let me sum up

I fell down the stairs on Sunday night - while holding my baby girl. Quite possibly this was the most terrifying event in my 28 years of life - barring of course the 4 hours it took to push out my dear child when I was in labor.

I got pretty beat up on the way down - I think she survived it mainly because she was riding a mommy sled. I didn't brace myself as my instinct was to hold on to her. So I've got some sore bones and some bruises and bumps but mainly just a bruised ego and spirit.

To sum up my recent post...

I believe I have what most doctors would call postpartum depression. Several things could be playing into this. Including but not limited to: working from home while mothering my child, people getting canned by the minute at my job, general upkeep of my home, maintaining a relationship with my husband, loss of self/hobbies, body shape changes, lack of sleep, etc. I'm anxious all the time... yes ALL.THE.TIME.

If I'm not worrying about the baby, I'm worrying about my job, the car, the money, my husband, my marriage, etc etc. Right now I could make you a list of probably 25 things I'm worrying about and it would be easy - I mean REAL easy.

I got a raise and a promotion at work 2 weeks ago. A blessing and a curse really. More money, more responsibility... which equals - harder to leave and more stress. Only a depressed person could find a way to think of a promotion and raise as a bad thing.

Quite possibly I saw the sun for the first time today in maybe a few weeks. We've been having some frigid temps in MN lately and its enough to suck the last drops of life blood right out of you. In addition to suffering from a bit of cabin fever, with the fall down the stairs I'm house shopping. I know I'm probably grasping at straws at this point, anything to turn the general mood of my life around. So far I've blamed it on everything including my crazy brain.

There is never enough time, money, energy or love.